When Rachel Reich discovered that her boyfriend was being unfaithful, she made one of the most difficult decisions of her life. It was 1996, and at the time she was living in Puerto Rico, where she was born and raised. Rachel eventually realized it was time to move on, and so she ended their eight-year relationship. A few months after the breakup, her ex-boyfriend came to her in tears, confiding to her that he had been diagnosed HIV-positive. The news, as well as her own diagnosis, came as a total shock and it was heartbreaking for her. At the time it had taken all of the strength she could muster just to break up with him, to begin to rebuild a life on her own. Her diagnosis came as a double-whammy. While she vowed to never forget, she ultimately learned to forgive and get on with her life.

Rachel soon had only 12 T-cells and became extremely ill. Then protease inhibitors came along and her health began to steadily improve. During this trying period, she reflected on what she had or had not done with her life. She began to experiment with different things in an effort to improve her health and outlook on life, including meditation, yoga, weight training, aerobics—even Pilates. One of the things she had never pursued, but had always wanted to, was dance. Dance seemed to hold a lot of power for Rachel, deep within her, in ways that she didn’t even realize.

“I’ve always felt that I didn’t have any rhythm and was very self-conscious about dancing,” explains Rachel. “I never danced because I was afraid of what people were going to think. I would go to parties and everyone would be dancing and having fun, except me.”

For whatever reason, Rachel continually found herself drawn to the mystique of belly dancing. One day she purchased some belly dance videos, and was immediately captivated by what she saw: femininity, strength, and beauty. “It was everything I wanted for myself.”

Around that same time Rachel attended a social event for straight, HIV-positive individuals in Fort Knox, Kentucky. There she met Barb Marcotte, who is currently Director of Programs at Test Positive Aware Network (TPAN). Barb attended the event, a weekend camping trip, along with her boyfriend Steve. She and Rachel soon became fast friends. Rachel says she was in a very sad place at that point in her life but, “I laughed so much that weekend, thanks to Barbara.”

Rachel later went to visit Barb in Cincinnati for a few days. When Rachel showed her the dance videos, Barb remarked, “That looks awfully hard.” Rachel thought it looked hard too, but still she couldn’t stop thinking about it. Barb had recently met a woman at a cultural diversity workshop who taught Middle Eastern dance, and they went together to check it out. “I didn’t dance, I didn’t participate, I didn’t do anything,” Rachel remembers. “All I did was sit there and watch.” But after she left the class and returned home, she found a teacher and soon began taking lessons.

“My body was so affected by lipodystrophy that, in the beginning, my hip scarves would fall of because I didn’t have any hips or any butt!” She laughs about it now, but says that at the time it was very difficult for her. One day, after a few lessons, her teacher walked over to her in class, tightened the scarves, and added some safety pins. “I know he did it out of love, but I was so terrified that he would even notice I didn’t have any hips.”

The class would always begin with some beautiful, empowering quote, such as ‘They who dance are thought mad by those who hear not the music.’ “It did something good for me—every time I left the class, I left with a smile,” says Rachel. “That was my first teacher, and he never knew anything about my condition, or how much he helped me,” continues Rachel, whose dance name is Raqia. “I learned to allow myself to be free, and express the dance movements from my heart.”

Rachel, who now lives in Southern Indiana, eventually left that first class, which was in another town, and found one closer to home. “I’m always taking lessons, always learning,” says Rachel. For the last three years she has been teaching other women beginning belly dance classes, and instructing them in the art of Middle Eastern dance, its history and culture, and how she uses it as a tool for healing. She leads a non-credit class at Indiana University Southeast, as well as in the public school system in Louisville. She also conducts workshops for HIV-positive women including, most recently, at the annual Women Living conference in Chicago last October, which is sponsored by TPAN.

Today Rachel is a member of a dance troupe made up of both single and married women, many of them professionals with advanced degrees. Karen Bassett, a married mother of two who belongs to the troupe, says that belly dancing has given her a lot more self-confidence, as well as a connection with other women “in a way that’s very different from sitting around chit-chatting.” Karen, who is HIV-negative, says, “It’s a sensual thing, not a sexual thing. It’s just good fun. It teaches you about a culture that is different from your own, and it gives you a way to stay in shape.” Her advice to someone who is thinking about taking dance lessons for the first time, “Just go for it!”

Karen, who is a psychotherapist and has had training in HIV, describes how one of their fellow classmates had overheard Rachel talking to someone one day about a medication she was taking. When the classmate asked what the medication was for, Rachel politely replied, “I’d rather not say.” But Karen had a hunch. When Rachel later disclosed to Karen that she is HIV-positive, Karen admitted that she wasn’t totally surprised. Rachel had talked previously about having to face a life-threatening illness. Karen said she was honored that Rachel felt comfortable enough to share her status with her. “I’m just amazed by what she’s doing,” says Karen.

Rachel has changed her drug regimen five or six times and today takes Truvada and Lexiva boosted with Norvir—five pills, once a day, which she finds convenient. She started on her current regimen about seven months ago and so far, while not completely undetectable, is doing quite well. She deals with the occasional headaches, diarrhea, and fatigue, but has learned to deal with the illness, as well as the side effects from the anti-HIV meds.

Rachel is on disability and sometimes, when she’s not feeling herself, finds she needs to pull back from her dancing for a few days, or even weeks at a time. “It’s not always easy,” she explains, “and [belly dancing] can get expensive.” But there is always something that eventually pulls her back into it, which makes it even more rewarding. And she gets back so much in return from helping others to find their own inner beauty and strength. “I still have traces of lipodystrophy in my body, but today that is not all I see when I look in the mirror. Instead, I see a beautiful, strong woman who has learned to open her heart, let go of her pain, and embrace the joys of life. And all this came from belly dancing!”

Rachel reminds all of her students at the beginning of each class that they are beautiful and powerful, and that it doesn’t matter what shape or form they are in, because they are still gorgeous. “The true beauty of dance,” says Rachel “comes from your soul.”

To learn more about Rachel’s classes and empowerment workshops, visit www.raqiabellydance.com or e-mail her at rachelrebecca21@aol.com.