Prison
damned
I am currently incarcerated
in the Riverbend Maximum Security Institution in Nashville.
After reading Larry Harris’ letter in the May/June
issue, I wanted to tell you my experience in coping with HIV.
Last July at Brushy Mountain Correctional Complex in Wartburg,
Tennessee, I experienced character assassination. I’ve never
in my life been suicidal, but that’s how far the medical staff
pushed me. My strong support system has helped me overcome
those attacks, as we know having to cope with this disease
is tough enough without also having to endure a daily regimen
of harassment and intimidation and being denied medical care.
The treatment I received in that facility, like Larry Harris
said, it’s gross exaggeration to label it “minimal” because
it is the bottom of the barrel.
In 1997, at West Tennessee
State Penitentiary in Henning, the problem extends far beyond
the inadequacy of the medical care. There I was forced to
live in a perpetually hostile environment where insults from
correctional staff members far outweigh those from other inmates
(it was the same at Brushy Mountain). I was assaulted several
times in those two years by officers who in their fear and
ignorance have chosen to respond to my condition with aggression
and intimidation. I was attacked with a bedsheet put around
my head, suffocating me, kicked and punched in the stomach
and then they dropped me down on metal stairs with my hands
behind my back and legs shackled, all because of a grievance.
The medical staff labeled me a troublemaker because most correctional
officers are their family members and lovers. It’s very disturbing
that a person with HIV/AIDS has to deal with such brutal assaults.
There is no counseling or
literature about HIV here. I’ve learned a lot about different
organizations and get on their mailing list. The resource
material—that’s compassion, what keeps an HIV/AIDS person
like myself with strong support, especially for gay and bisexual
men like myself.
Daren Payne,
R.M.S.I. #127306 #1-C-#207,
7475 Cockrill Bend Ind. Rd.,
Nashville, TN 37209-1048
I too am in prison, but my
situation is not as bad as Mr. Harris’. I also read the Editor’s
Note, but in the prison I’m in you cannot get a job to make
any money. These are taken mostly by guys who have been in
for years and are never getting out. So that leaves me with
no money but what I receive from the outside world. If I had
it I would give it because your magazine is very informative
and it helps me deal with the medical staff here.
Name withheld, Massachusetts
I couldn’t let Mr. Harris’
letter go without comment. I am a physician who works in the
Illinois Department of Corrections, although not at the facility
that Mr. Harris describes. I can’t speak to his particulars,
but I can assure your readers that our inmates get as good
or better care for HIV/AIDS in prison than outside of prison.
One has to remember that we are dealing with convicted felons,
some of whom have significant mental disease, who were not
always so concerned with their health before incarceration.
We have available to us almost all the currently approved
HIV medications as in the “real world” and those that we don’t
have can be obtained if a good medical case can be made. Since
we are a state institution and the health of inmates is dependent
upon us, we are under frequent scrutiny. Routinely, we see
each of our HIV patients every three months, usually with
CD4 counts and viral loads each time. Genotypic assays are
ordered as needed. Prophylactic antibiotics are ordered when
the criteria demand it. For the most part, we do not use HIV
“specialists,” however, most of the MDs grew up with the HIV
epidemic and are quite adept at providing the necessary medical
care. Far from being “bottom of the barrel,” the doctors providing
care in the correctional environment have to be at the top
of their game, because neither the institution nor the contracted
health care provider will put up with frequent furloughs to
the outside for conditions which could be handled onsite.
However, when the need demands it, inmates can be sent to
outside specialists.
Sometimes the inmates become
disillusioned because they feel they need something that the
doctor does not agree with. The art of being a doctor in a
prison is to determine what the inmate actually needs for
his medical condition, which is not always what the inmate
thinks he needs. Sometimes life in prison can be difficult,
but we make sure it does not interfere with medical care.
Because of our frequent check-ups and adherence to standards,
we can provide as good, or better care for our HIV inmates
than they might get on the outside, left to their own devices.
William Rankin, MD, East
Moline, IL
Here,
Kitty Kitty
Thank you, Enid Vázquez,
for an excellent article on the therapeutic benefits of pet
companionship (Here,
Kitty Kitty, March/April). This is the type of accurate
and informative message that clients and caregivers need!
Lynn Beckmann, RN, DVM, via
the internet
Rebel’s
gone
Dear Enid, I’m very sorry
to write to let you know that my treasure of 11 years, Rebel,
died suddenly of kidney failure, about two weeks ago while
I was out of town. I didn’t get the messages about his hospitalization
until after the fact from the vet. He didn’t suffer from pain
and I’ve been telling myself he didn’t suffer from my not
being there with him, but it’s a hard act to convince myself.
My anchor is gone; at least I’m not overmedicated, as I’ve
been able to do a lot of crying. I’ve had his ashes back a
week now and have scattered some with friends at different
parks that we’ve walked at in different neighborhoods we’ve
lived around in S.F. It’s so quiet. No barking at the microwave
bell or telephone. No greetings when I come home. I’ve tried
to pet my Siamese beta fish, Pokey, alas, not really workable.
Have attended an animal humane society pet loss grief support
group and have many supportive friends. I’m glad I could tell
my story to you and trust you received favorable feedback
on the article. This is so hard. I guess I need to rediscover
my personality separate from us; the whole was certainly greater
than the sum of our parts. Such a wee spirit with so much
love. Will I ever be blessed again with such devotion from
someone or something? Life goes on, and so will I, sadder
and more involved with others, for having been Rebel’s guardian
for all this time. Keep up your great efforts.
Jonathan Goldman, San Francisco
rebelzdad@webtv.net
Mourning
Archie
Jim, your article on the
video journal you collaborated on touched my heart so much
that I also cried for Archie. For about 10 minutes I could
do nothing else but cry as I wondered if Archie had family
or friends with him when he died. Was there a support net
for him of some kind, or did he just die a lonely statistic.
I cried because, like Archie, I’m also African American and,
like Archie, I was born in 1962. I’m gay and was diagnosed
with AIDS in February of 2000. Right now my T-cells are at
280 (up from 38) and my viral load is undetectable (down from
40,000).
I was crying, in part, for
myself, thinking as you did, “When will it be my turn to step
out from the wings and get sick…walk with a cane…die?” But,
mostly, I was just mourning for Archie. I know that support
has meant a lot to me and without it I would not have progressed
to where I am now (physically, mentally and, most of all,
emotionally). And that was support from my family and my very
good friends and partner of some years. Tell your mom and
close family members (I’m sure they would be there to offer
you their undying love and support too). I too have mourned
for Archie, but I’m also celebrating life—my life. Best wishes
for your health and well being.
Name withheld, Baltimore,
MD
College
death
The reason why this article
(March/ April)
got my attention is that the Danny Brown story reminds me
of a dear friend. I was more than a friend. I am also his
cousin. I know that this exact story could not have happened
to two people. I know the names were changed. It took a lot
courage to speak out about having AIDS and being gay, and
I commend you [author Chris Bell] for that. I wish he would
have been as brave as you. I always thought if he would not
have kept what he was going through such a secret he would
still be here or he would have not died that way. As close
as he and I were I did not know he was gay and was HIV-positive
until he came up missing. Actually the only people in our
family who knew were his mother and sisters. I would like
to thank you for speaking out and making people aware of HIV.
Name withheld, via the internet
[Correspondence determined
that “Danny Brown” was indeed a pseudonym for the writer’s
cousin.]
Clarification
Chicago’s “Beat the Heat”
Youth Outreach program (“The
Young and the Restless,” March/April) is a collaboration
originated by The Night Ministry.
Barbara Bolsen, The Night
Ministry
African
American AIDS
Recently, I attended a regional
training session held by NMAC
[National Minority AIDS Council], where I received a copy
of your issue covering the 13th International AIDS Conference.
Awesome! I had not heard of this magazine before and thank
God for showing it to me now! I read the whole magazine. What
a learning experience that was. I am setting up an HIV/AIDS
Initiative at my church in Silver Spring, MD, where surprisingly
or not, there is still a lot of denial and ignorance about
HIV/AIDS as a whole. As AAAPTI [African American AIDS Policy
and Training Institute] Director Mr. [Phill] Wilson says:
Our People, Our Problem, Our Solution. I have left the field
of biomedical research to dedicate myself to the field of
public health, while concentrating on HIV prevention in the
urban setting. This summer our church will set out to South
Africa, where we will help a group of women to rebuild a school
and do HIV/AIDS outreach/education to families affected and
infected with HIV/AIDS. This will be a tremendous experience.
I commend you, Mr. Clifton (and all other staff members of
TPAN), for your work in the battle against HIV/AIDS. Keep
up the good work, you are a blessing to our community! and
the world!
Ludmilla F. Scott, via the
internet
Lost
youth
I am an HIV educator for
AIDS Community Resources in Syracuse, New York. I run a teen
peer education program called Teen AIDS Task Force. On a monthly
basis I put out a newsletter to the 37 schools we work with,
as well as 550 other agencies and individuals. Recently I
came across an article in your March/April issue titled “Lost
Youth” by Undra C. Fulton. I am reprinting this article
in my newsletter because I feel it would send a positive message
to the youth I work with.
Marissa Bailey, via the internet
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