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Two and one-half years ago in
August of 1999, I received a diagnosis of HIV. The news of
my HIV-positive status changed my life forever. I, like many
people, almost immediately got sick.
It wasn’t so much the knowledge
of having HIV, but a combination of events. My health took
a steady dive and over the next few months I found myself
in hospitals more that I was out of them. I stopped working
almost immediately. I was incapable of the daily basic elements
of self-care and moved into a support living program in Chicago
to assist me with my chores and activities. I was on the edge
of life and consciousness and wasn’t sure if I would see the
millennium.
My illness lasted longer
than I had ever anticipated and my knowledge, perspective
and body went through many changes. One of which was the decision
to leave my home and friends in Chicago, and move to beautiful,
warm and sunny San Diego. Thinking back now, I am bewildered
and amazed at the strength and will that allowed me to drive
myself halfway across the country. By the time my first anniversary
of diagnosis rolled around, I was a new resident of San Diego,
California.
At first my support circle
was extremely limited. I was on disability and as I started
to recover both physically and mentally, my awareness, restlessness
and isolation grew more and more. That’s when I discovered
San Diego POZabilities (SDPOZabilities).
SDPOZabilities is a non-political,
non-spiritual, non-profit organization dedicated to providing
a fun, safe, healthy drug- and alcohol-free social setting
for men with HIV/AIDS in the San Diego area, in order to promote
and enhance the overall wellness of its members.
In many ways, this group
of men has changed my life forever. They provide me with an
avenue to meet others in a relaxed environment away from all
of the medical jargon and clinics and yet still be around
others living with HIV in a comfortable, nurturing environment.
They are my extended family of sorts, allowing me to find
the strength and desire to not sit around and wallow in self-pity
or focus on the negativity that this life sometimes brings.
They help me focus on living. The group has opened up an outlet
for me to enjoy my newfound health. In all honesty, SDPOZabilities
makes all the difference. Like all things, you have to make
an effort. It’s a two-way street.
We have two coffee hours
at the Other Side Coffeehouse and volleyball on Sunday in
Balboa Park. It gives us a chance to socialize, chat and feel
welcome. I find that I look forward to these times of laughter,
camaraderie, and the feeling of belonging that is sometimes
rare with the isolation that having HIV can cause.
Additionally, the group schedules
low or no-cost events during the week such as bonfires, potlucks,
bowling, movie nights at members’ homes, and arts and crafts
projects. Sometimes we enjoy theater, kayaking, camping and
hiking around San Diego County, and on occasion day-trip getaways
to Palm Springs or other nearby destinations for the more
adventurous. The board even finds a way to pool resources
for people on disability or those who have low-incomes so
that no one is turned away for lack of money. All activities
are conducted with a strong commitment to keep the identity
of the members confidential. There is a strictly confidential
e-mail list. A calendar of events is distributed to many of
the HIV/AIDS organizations in the city, which allows people
to pick it up randomly.
As a new board member for
the group, I am energized and eager to see the eclectic group
of men at each of the numerous events held throughout the
year. I’m empowered by the new faces, and find the honesty
and integrity of the group refreshing. SDPOZabilities has
grown from a great idea to a great number of men reaching
out to lift each other’s spirit and overall sense of well
being. We are being approached by other cities for information
on starting a local group, and are eager to help them.
And last, but not least,
starting this spring, with the sponsorship of Hillcrest Pharmacy
located in the Hillcrest neighborhood, we will have the first
self-identified HIV-affected softball team in the America’s
Finest City Softball League (AFCSL). The league, I am told,
is nearly, if not already, the largest gay-identified softball
league in the nation.
SDPOZabilities, and all that
the group offers, has empowered me with the desire to actively
pursue a lifestyle and survive in my newly developing life
with HIV. Please visit us at www.sandiegopozabilities.net,
with links to HIV-positive social groups around the country.
Shane Doyle is a board
member of San Diego POZabilities.
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