From TPAN:
Some Things Change, Some Don’t
The year 2000. I can remember
in 1990 setting as my goal to live to the new millennium (let’s
not quibble over whether it was this year or 2001). At the
time, I was three years into living with HIV and was having
my first crisis. In nine months my CD4 cells had dropped from
over 800 to 350. I was physically fine, but clinically in
trouble. And with only low dose AZT to rely on, the future
was less than bright. Even though I lived in a community of
only 300,000 in Michigan, I had already attended a half dozen
or more funerals and memorial services, including one for
a lover.
The year 2000. Present day.
I am now 45, continue to work full time, and am in good health.
My CD4 count is in the 400 to 600 range and my viral load
remains undetectable. Most of my health issues now seem to
be more related to being 10 or 15 years older than I used
to be. Yeah, I have some side effects from my drugs (Sustiva/Epivir/Zerit),
but nothing too severe. In fact, on occasion the drug-induced
dreams are interesting and amusing.
My HIV-related issues now
are different from 10 years ago. Rather than waiting for the
seemingly inevitable opportunistic infections (OIs) and decline
in health, I monitor my viral load for the early signs of
treatment “failureî so that I can switch to a new regimen.
I watch closely for signs of side effects, including lipodystrophy
and various nutritional and hormonal imbalances. And I deal
with issues related to growing older.
But I go to my doctor when
a “coldî doesn’t get better in three or four days. Just to
be sure. I still worry about a bruise if I don’t remember
running into the table. A chest cold still raises the specter
of PCP. I still wonder if I will live another five years.
I still wrestle with disclosure, particularly with a potential
sexual partner. And friends and loved ones still die of this
disease. Some things haven’t changed.
One constant for these past
10 years has been Positively Aware. From articles on
compound Q and other “kitchenî remedies to the latest information
on T-20 and other promising drugs, Positively Aware
has chronicled HIV treatment and health issues. We have reported
from numerous scientific and medical conferences and we have
reported from the very personal perspectives of people living
with HIV. This has been possible due in part to the talented,
dedicated editors over the years—Bob Hultz, Steve Wakefield,
Steve McGuire, Brett Grodeck, Steve Whitson, and now Charles
Clifton. These individuals along with countless volunteers
and staff of TPA Network and writers from across the country
have produced this outstanding publication.
In 1990, I hoped to be alive
to enjoy the new millennium. I can honestly say that I am
here today, in part, because of this publication. Never in
my dreams 10 years ago did I think I would be working in the
HIV field. Never did I believe that I would be associated
with such an outstanding publication.
My hope for 10 years from
now is that we will not need to celebrate a 20th anniversary
of Positively Aware. My hope is that by that time HIV
will no longer be the world pandemic it is today. While only
a hope, it is closer to reality than 10 years ago.
Dennis Hartke
Executive Director
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