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Positive Empowerment:
The Power of Brotherly Love
by Keith Green
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Throughout my nine-year journey
of living with HIV, I have had several life-changing experiences,
experiences that encourage, inspire, and empower me to keep
fighting, to keep moving ahead. The most recent of those came
in the form of the 8th Annual Brothers United in Support (BUS)
retreat that took place on the weekend of June 12-15, 2003
at Camp Renora in Watervliet, Michigan. (The BUS support group
meets at Test Positive Aware Network and is for HIV positive
gay and bisexual men of African descent.)
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The BUS retreat came at a
time when life for me seemed to have lost its purpose and
I was just about ready to give up on everything. Through the
power of brotherhood, however, I came to realize that giving
up was never an option for me. I realized that not only does
life have so much more to offer me, but that I have so much
more to offer the world.
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Camp Renora, located just
about two hours outside of Chicago, is one of the most serene
places that I have ever been. With the exception of a couple
of motor vehicles here and there, there are very few signs
of city life. Featuring several cabins with interesting themes
(Grandma’s House, for example, really does remind me
of being in my Granny’s home: warm, cozy and full of
love), Renora sets the mood for a walk down the trail or a
swim in the lake or a warm late-night campfire. A deep breath
of the fresh country air reveals traces of pine and honeysuckle,
elements that make the country the country. Stumbling
upon a frog or a rabbit, or even a snake for that matter,
is not uncommon at Camp Renora. It is an experience of nature,
undisturbed, that instantly calms, soothes and heals the mind,
frees the soul and mends the broken heart.
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Our weekend was strategically
planned with workshops and plenty of free time to enjoy the
scenery. The theme for the retreat was “Brotherly Love
Must Continue…What’s Your Plan?” The workshops
were centered on developing a plan for the future, both individually
and as an HIV positive African American community. We started
out with issues concerning health and treatment options, and
ventured into relationships, spirituality and other issues
concerning love and care of self.
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Our main facilitator, Omari
Martin, did an excellent job of soliciting group participation
and helping us realize where we actually are in our individual
journeys, versus where we would like to be. We were made to
take a deeper look at what it really means to be African American,
gay and HIV positive, all characteristics considered to be
strikes against you in the society in which we live. Unfortunately,
there was just not enough time in one weekend to draw any
solid conclusions concerning any of these issues. However,
seeds were planted that will remain in the minds and hearts
of all who attended the retreat, that through much watering
and nurturing will most definitely bring forth the sweetest
of fruit.
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We were all
challenged to assume the responsibility of educating and
empowering not only ourselves, but our partners, families
and friends as well.
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The highlights of the retreat
came during group discussions. There is nothing like getting
a group of Black gay men to completely let their guards down
in a safe space, and openly address their issues. On Friday
evening we gathered around the fireplace at Trilogy House
(the largest of the cabins at Camp Renora) to discuss the
“Black Gay Men’s Call to Action”—a challenge
put out to the Black community by a group of professional
Black gay men to join in the fight to rid our community of
HIV/AIDS (see “Editor’s
Note,” July/August). It was during that discussion
that we were all challenged to assume the responsibility of
educating and empowering not only ourselves, but our partners,
families and friends as well. Mainly due to homophobia and
pure ignorance has this epidemic been allowed to devastate
our community to the extent that it has. For whatever reasons
we have remained in the shadows and been silent about who
we are for way too long. That deadly silence has cost us many
precious lives, and will claim many more if we do not open
our eyes to change, and fast.
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Sharing and fellowship with
my brothers inspired me in ways I never thought possible.
I was encouraged by the many testimonies of victory over battles
with HIV/AIDS related illness. I was moved by the tales told
by brothers who had overcome severe rejection and even verbal
and physical abuse because of both their sexuality and their
HIV status. And I was humbled at the strength, courage and
wisdom that were flowing from my brothers as we bonded together
in support of one another.
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We concluded our weekend on
Saturday evening with a talent showcase, hosted by me, and
an anniversary party in the main dining hall (which, by the
way, served some of the best fried chicken and fresh fruits
you ever want to taste). I had not prepared anything special
for the talent showcase. In fact, I had kicked myself several
times over the weekend for volunteering to host it.
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It wasn’t until about
an hour before show time that I took a real deep look within
myself and realized that this was exactly what I was supposed
to be doing. I had gotten so much from my brothers over the
past 72 hours or so that I had to give something back. I had
to let them know that they had touched me, deeply. So deep
that I was no longer looking for a way out, but was planning
to fight my way through.
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We shared our talents that
evening. We laughed and cried and prayed together, as brothers.
We sat by the campfire until the wee hours of the morning
until there was nothing left to be said. The silence in the
country air spoke to our hearts until we truly understood
that Brotherly Love Must Continue.
What’s your plan?
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Keith Green, 26, currently
serves as Distribution Coordinator for Positively Aware.
He is a poet and organizer of spoken word events throughout
the Chicagoland area as well as Charlotte, North Carolina.
He is currently working on his Bachelors Degree in Elementary
Education and is in the process of publishing a collection
of poetry and essays.
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